Luke 9:23–24 (NKJV) — “Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.’”
In Luke 9, Jesus had just asked His disciples one of the most important questions they would ever answer: “But who do you say that I am?” Peter responded that Jesus was the Christ of God. Jesus then began explaining that following the Christ would not look the way many expected. He spoke about His coming suffering, rejection, death, and resurrection, and then turned the conversation from what He would endure to what would be required of those who chose to follow Him.
Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” He was describing discipleship as more than believing something about Him; following Him would require surrender. To deny yourself does not mean believing you have no value or refusing every good thing in life. It means refusing to allow self—your will, desires, preferences, impulses, and personal agenda to occupy the place that belongs to God.
The word daily is especially important. Jesus did not describe self-denial as a one-time decision. There would be new opportunities every day for the believer to choose between personal desire and God’s direction. Yesterday’s surrender cannot make today’s decision for you. You may have said yes to God yesterday and still need another yes today.
The cross also carried a much stronger meaning to Jesus’ original audience than it sometimes does today. The cross represented death. Therefore, when Jesus told His followers to take up their cross, He was calling them to a life in which their own will would continually be surrendered to God’s will. This connects directly to Galatians 5:24: “And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” I have one question before we go father, are you willing to deny yourself when what you want conflicts with what God wants?
Today may challenge you because there are times when following God requires you to say no to something you genuinely want. Not everything you desire is necessarily sinful. Sometimes the issue is simply that what you want is not what God wants for you, not what He wants for you right now, or not the way He wants you to receive it.
That is where denying yourself becomes difficult. It is one thing to surrender something you no longer want. It is another thing to place something before God while part of you is still saying, “But I really want this.” Yet Jesus says, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself.” In other words, your desire to follow Christ must eventually become greater than your desire to always have your own way.
Sometimes denying yourself means remaining silent when you have a response ready. Sometimes it means waiting when you believe you are ready to move. It may mean forgiving someone while your emotions are still hurt, walking away from something that feels good but is not good for you, establishing a boundary that your flesh does not like, or choosing discipline when comfort would be easier. Denying yourself can also mean releasing your need to control how God answers your prayers.
This is why today’s title is important: Denying yourself is not denying your destiny. Your flesh may interpret every no as a loss, but God’s no can be protection, preparation, redirection, or simply an invitation to trust His timing. You do not know everything God knows about the road ahead.
Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Sometimes denying yourself is simply refusing to lean on your own understanding when what you see and what God says appear to be going in different directions.
You may think, “God, this makes sense.” You may have planned it carefully. The opportunity may look perfect. The timing may seem right. Everybody around you may agree. Yet if the Holy Spirit is saying, “Not this,” “Not now,” or “Not this way,” you have to decide whether your confidence in what you see is greater than your trust in the God who sees what you cannot.
Psalm 84:11 says, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” That Scripture can help change the way you interpret God’s no. If God is withholding something, you can trust that He has a reason. If something truly belongs in His purpose for your life, you do not have to manipulate, compromise, force, or abandon obedience to obtain it.
At times you may think surrender is causing you to miss something when surrender is actually keeping you aligned with what God has prepared for you. Think about how often your flesh connects immediate gratification with happiness. It says, “If I could just have this, I would be satisfied.” Then you receive it, and before long your flesh wants something else. Proverbs 14:12 warns, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” Everything that seems right, feels right, or looks right does not necessarily lead you where God wants you to go and that is why you need the Holy Spirit.
You are learning in this series that the goal is not merely to become better at saying no. The goal is to become better at saying yes to God. Every Spirit-led no makes room for a more meaningful yes. When you say no to unnecessary distraction, you can say yes to focus. When you say no to bitterness, you can say yes to healing. When you say no to impulsiveness, you can say yes to wisdom. When you say no to procrastination, you can say yes to discipline. When you say no to your need to control everything, you can say yes to trusting God.
This is why self-denial should not be understood only in terms of what you are giving up. You also need to consider what your surrender is making room for. Hebrews 12:11 says, “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Discipline does not always feel good while it is happening. The Scripture acknowledges that. But there is an afterward connected to discipline.
That word afterward matters when you are thinking about your next three years. There are choices you make today whose fruit you may not see immediately. A boundary established today may protect something months from now. A disciplined habit started today may position you differently a year from now. A relationship you surrender today may prevent years of unnecessary pain. A financial decision you make today may produce freedom later. A decision to deepen your prayer life today may prepare you spiritually for an assignment you cannot yet see and your flesh focuses heavily on right now, but wisdom considers afterward.
If you want your next three years to be greater than your last three months, you cannot allow every decision to be based on what feels best today. Sometimes you have to ask, “Where will this choice take me?” Not just tonight, not just tomorrow, but if I continue making this choice, where could it take me three months from now, one year from now, or three years from now?
Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” There is a due season attached to consistent obedience. You may not see immediate results every time you deny your flesh, but something is being developed in you each time you choose God’s way over your own.
You are developing discipline. You are developing discernment. You are developing patience. You are developing self-control. You are developing spiritual sensitivity. You are developing the ability to trust God when you do not understand Him. Those qualities matter because your future will require more than gifting. Your future will require character strong enough to carry what God places into your hands.
This brings you back to Galatians 5:24: “Those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Crucifixion sounds final, yet Jesus tells you to take up your cross daily because surrender continually shows up in new places. Something you surrendered yesterday may try to present itself differently today. A desire you thought you had conquered may knock again when you are tired, lonely, disappointed, frustrated, or impatient.
Do not become discouraged simply because you have to surrender something more than once. Keep choosing God. Romans 12:1 says, “Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.” A living sacrifice has to remain surrendered. Every day gives you another opportunity to place your desires, plans, appetites, reactions, and preferences before God and say, “Father, this belongs to You too.”
And sometimes the thing God is asking you to deny is not an obvious sinful behavior. It may be your need to be understood. You can exhaust yourself trying to make everybody understand what God is doing in your life. You explain, defend, clarify, and repeatedly revisit something God has already settled in your spirit. There are moments when denying yourself means releasing your need for everybody to agree with your obedience.
Sometimes it is the need to be recognized. Sometimes it is the need to have the last word. Sometimes it is the need to fix everybody. Sometimes it is the need to control every outcome. Sometimes it is the need to be included in everything. Sometimes it is the need to immediately see results from what you have planted. The flesh is not limited to obvious appetites. Self can show up anywhere you insist that your way must prevail.
Philippians 2:3–5 tells believers to reject selfish ambition and develop the mind of Christ. Jesus Himself demonstrated humility and surrender. If you are asking God for greater anointing, greater influence, and greater territory, you also need to ask Him for a greater willingness to decrease where self keeps trying to increase. John the Baptist expressed this beautifully in John 3:30: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” That is the heart of today’s lesson. Crucifying your flesh is not primarily about becoming less of a person; it is about making more room for Christ to govern the person you are becoming.
Your gifts do not have to decrease. Your purpose does not have to decrease. Your impact does not have to decrease. But pride, selfish ambition, uncontrolled appetites, impulsiveness, stubbornness, and the need to always have your way must lose their authority.
Remember what you learned on Day Two: stop feeding what you’re trying to crucify. Today you go one step further. When the flesh asks to be fed, you may have to deny it. You cannot starve something while continually giving it snacks.
That means there will be moments when you have to make a decision before your feelings agree with it. You may forgive before you feel forgiving. You may pray before you feel prayerful. You may obey before you understand. You may remain silent while part of you still wants to speak. You may walk away while part of you still wants to stay. Feelings can take time to catch up with obedience. Second Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” Sometimes you also have to walk by faith rather than by feeling. Your feelings are real, but they are not always reliable leaders.
And Sunshine, do not confuse denying your flesh with denying yourself rest, joy, celebration, healthy desires, or the good gifts God gives. God is not calling you to live miserably. Jesus said in John 10:10, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” Biblical self-denial is not rejecting life; it is rejecting whatever competes with Christ’s rightful leadership over your life.
Sometimes the thing you believe you are losing is actually standing between you and the freedom God wants you to experience. So today, ask yourself a difficult but necessary question: “What am I unwilling to hear God say no about?” That question may reveal something. If there is a relationship you desperately need God to approve, an opportunity you refuse to release, a habit you keep defending, an outcome you insist must happen, or a desire you cannot imagine surrendering, place it before God honestly. You do not have to pretend you do not want it. Jesus Himself demonstrated honest surrender in Gethsemane: “Nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.”
That can become your prayer too: “Father, You know I want this, but I want Your will more. You know this is difficult for me to release, but I trust You. You know what I cannot see, and You know where this road leads. If it belongs in my future, teach me how to receive it Your way. If it does not, give me strength to release it without looking back.” That is not weakness. That is surrender, remember that your flesh does not get the final say. Day Two taught you to stop feeding what you’re trying to crucify. Day Three teaches you that when your flesh still wants what you have stopped feeding, you can deny it and keep following Jesus. You are not denying your destiny. You are denying anything that would keep you from walking fully in it.
Let’s Pray:
Father, in the name of Jesus, thank You for another day and another opportunity to follow You. Thank You for loving me enough to lead me beyond what feels comfortable and into what will make me more like Christ. Today I hear Your invitation to deny myself, take up my cross daily, and follow You. Father, I confess that surrender is not always easy. There are things I want, outcomes I prefer, plans I have made, and answers I hope You will give. You know the desires I speak aloud and the ones I have never told anyone. I do not have to hide them from You because You already know my heart. Teach me to bring those desires honestly before You and still say, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours, be done.” Help me trust that Your wisdom is greater than my understanding and that Your view of my future reaches places I cannot see. When You say no, help me trust You. When You say wait, give me patience. When You redirect me, help me follow without continually looking backward. When You require discipline, help me remember the fruit that can come afterward. When obedience is uncomfortable, remind me that temporary discomfort is not evidence that I have missed Your will. Father, show me where self has been occupying a place that belongs to You. Reveal pride, selfish ambition, stubbornness, uncontrolled appetites, impulsive reactions, the need to be right, the need to be recognized, the need to control outcomes, or the need for everyone to understand me. Show me whatever repeatedly competes with Your leadership. Give me strength to deny myself without believing that I am denying my future. Help me understand that every no to my flesh can become a stronger yes to You. When I say no to bitterness, help me choose forgiveness. When I say no to distraction, help me choose focus. When I say no to procrastination, help me choose discipline. When I say no to fear, help me choose faith. When I release control, help me choose trust. Father, teach me to think beyond the immediate moment. My flesh may want satisfaction now, but give me wisdom to consider the afterward. Help me make today’s choices with tomorrow’s assignment in mind. I want my next three years to be greater than my last three months, so give me courage to make decisions today that agree with the future I am praying for. Prepare my character for what You are preparing to place in my hands. Develop discipline, patience, discernment, humility, self-control, and spiritual sensitivity within me. Do not allow my gifts to grow faster than my character or my opportunities to become greater than my capacity to steward them well. Father, when my feelings disagree with obedience, help me walk by faith. When I do not feel like praying, draw me into prayer. When I do not feel like forgiving, help me choose forgiveness. When I want to speak but wisdom says be silent, guard my mouth. When I want to move but You are saying wait, steady my feet. Let my obedience become stronger than my impulses. Today I present myself to You as a living sacrifice. My plans belong to You. My desires belong to You. My relationships belong to You. My gifts, opportunities, future, and dreams belong to You. If there is anything I am holding so tightly that I cannot surrender it when You ask, loosen my grip. Jesus, increase in me. Let selfishness decrease, let pride decrease, let stubbornness decrease, and let every desire that competes with Your will lose its authority over me. I do not want greater territory without greater surrender, greater anointing without greater discipline, or greater influence without greater humility. Holy Spirit, when my flesh says, “But I want this,” remind me to ask, “Father, what do You want?” When the answer is different from mine, give me enough love for You, enough trust in You, and enough faith in Your plan to choose Your way. I believe that what You have prepared for me does not require me to disobey You to receive it. I do not have to manipulate, force, compromise, or abandon Your Word to reach the future You have ordained for me. So today I choose to follow You. I choose surrender over control, obedience over impulse, discipline over temporary gratification, and Your will over my own. I am not denying my destiny. I am surrendering whatever cannot go with me into it. In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Nugget ~ Denying yourself is not denying your destiny. Sometimes the no you give your flesh today is protecting the yes God has prepared for your tomorrow. Choose His will over the moment, take up your cross, and keep following Him.
Blessings…
Love, Dr. Jean…
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