Good Morning Sunshine! Your Way or His Way? For His Way Is Going To Cost You Yours!

Luke 9:23 (KJV): “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

Luke 22:42 (KJV): “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done.”

Today’s surrender comes even closer because you must confront your will. It is easy to say, “Lord, have Your way,” when His way looks like what you already wanted. It is easy to celebrate God’s direction when the door opens, the answer comes quickly, the relationship works, and the plan unfolds exactly as you imagined. But what happens when God’s way costs you yours?

What happens when you pray for direction and His direction requires waiting? What happens when you ask Him to open a door and it remains closed? What happens when obedience requires you to be quiet when you want to speak, forgive when you still feel hurt, apologize when you believe the other person was more wrong, or release something you desperately wanted to keep? This is where the cross confronts more than your behavior. It confronts your right to have your own way.

Now, I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with having desires, plans, hopes, or dreams. The question is what happens when what you want and what God requires are no longer traveling in the same direction. It is at that moment; somebody’s will must yield. And Jesus gave you the words for that moment; “Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

Luke 22 brings us into one of the most intense moments before the crucifixion. Jesus is in the Mount of Olives, knowing what is before Him. He is not approaching the cross unaware of its suffering. Luke 22:41–42 says that Jesus “kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Matthew’s account tells us that Jesus said, “My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death” (Matthew 26:38). His surrender did not mean the absence of anguish. Jesus honestly expressed the weight of what was before Him while remaining submitted to the Father’s will. That is important for you because surrender does not require pretending that something is easy when it is difficult. It does not require pretending you do not want something when you do. It does not mean you cannot tell God, “Father, this is what I hoped for. This is what I wanted. This hurts and I do not understand.” Surrender is what happens after the honesty, Jesus said, “Nevertheless.”

Luke 9:23 helps us understand why this matters to discipleship. Jesus said that anyone who comes after Him must “deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” Self-denial eventually brings you to the issue of lordship. If Jesus is Lord, there will be moments when His direction challenges your preference. Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Trust becomes especially meaningful when our understanding cannot explain God’s direction. You are not called to understand everything before you obey, but you are called to follow.

There was a woman who had been praying for a particular opportunity for months. She had researched it, prepared for it, talked about it, and imagined what life would look like once it happened. The opportunity was good. There was nothing obviously wrong with wanting it, and because it made sense to her, she assumed it must also be God’s plan. So she prayed, “Lord, open this door.” But the door did not open. She prayed harder. She looked for another way in. She contacted people who might be able to help. Every obstacle became something she thought she needed to overcome. One day, after another disappointment, she sat quietly before God. This time her prayer changed. Instead of asking, “Lord, why won’t You open this door?” she asked, “Lord, am I even supposed to go through it?”

That question exposed something in her heart. She realized that she had spent months asking God to approve the direction she had already chosen. She had prayed for God’s will, but only as long as His will agreed with hers. So, she prayed again. “Father, I still want this. I am not going to pretend that I don’t. But if this is not what You have for me, help me stop pulling on a door You are not telling me to enter.” The door did not suddenly open. Another opportunity did not immediately appear. What changed that day was her posture. She stopped trying to make God agree with her plan and became willing to let God direct her path.

Sometimes the hardest thing to surrender is not something bad. Sometimes it is something good that you have wanted so badly that you stopped leaving room for God to answer differently. So, are you asking God for directions or approval? You do know that there is a difference between asking God for direction and asking God to approve a decision that you have already made. For you can say, “Lord, order my steps,” while quietly telling Him where you expect those steps to go. You say, “Your will be done,” but become angry when His will does not look like your plan. Psalm 25:4–5 says, “Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me.” David’s prayer was not, “God, bless my path.” It was, “Teach me Your path.” So, instead of only praying, “Lord, make this work,”  you need to ask, “Lord, should I be doing this?” Or instead of only asking, “Lord, change them,” you need to ask, “Lord, what are You changing in me?” Instead of repeatedly praying, “Lord, open this door,” you need the courage to pray, “Lord, if this door is not for me, give me the discipline to stop pulling on the handle.”

This does not mean every obstacle is automatically a divine “no,” nor does every easy path automatically mean God’s approval. That is why you need Scripture, prayer, wisdom, discernment, and godly counsel. But true surrender leaves room for God’s answer to be different from yours. I know sometimes, your way is for the need to be right, because our will does not show itself only in major decisions, it can appear in a conversation. You want the last word. You want somebody to understand why you think that you were right. You want to defend yourself and you want them to apologize first; you want everyone to hear your side. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” James 1:19 tells us to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

But my sister and brother, discipline requires you to ask, “Even if I am right about what happened, is the way I am handling it right?” You can have a valid point and communicate it in an ungodly way. You can tell the truth and still use truth as a weapon. Or you can establish a necessary boundary without becoming cruel. Ephesians 4:15 tells us to speak “the truth in love.” Both matter. Sometimes what needs to be crucified is not your voice. It is your need to win.

There will also be seasons when surrender looks like waiting. Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart.” Waiting exposes how much you want control, and just to let you know, you cannot control the timing, it is in that moment that you have to decide whether you trust the One who can. Biblical waiting is not always passive it means waiting faithfully while doing what God has already placed before you without trying to manufacture the next step. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Something can be good and still not belong to this season. A desire can be legitimate and still require patience. Do not let impatience become permission to move outside of wisdom. Your  surrender should sound like, this “Lord, I still want it, but I refuse to force it.”

There will also be moments when your way wants revenge while God’s way calls you toward forgiveness. Romans 12:19 says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves.” Ephesians 4:32 tells us to forgive one another “even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Forgiveness does not mean pretending what happened was acceptable. It does not automatically restore someone to the same level of access they previously had. Forgiveness does not remove the need for healthy boundaries, accountability, truth, or appropriate consequences. Forgiveness means revenge is no longer your assignment. When you choose to keep it on the Cross, the cross releases your personal need to make somebody pay. You can seek accountability without allowing bitterness to govern you. You can establish boundaries without hatred becoming your identity. Again, His way will cost you yours.

Listen to this, perhaps one of the most powerful words you can learn in surrender is nevertheless. “Father, this is what I wanted; nevertheless, Your will be done.” “I thought it would happen differently; nevertheless, I trust You.” “I do not understand why I have to wait; nevertheless, I will not run ahead of You.” “This hurts;  nevertheless, I will not allow hurt to determine how I obey You.” Nevertheless does not deny what you feel. It decides who has final authority. Psalm 143:10 says, “Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God.” Notice that David did not merely ask God to teach him what His will was. He asked God to teach him to do it. Sometimes knowing is easier said than doing.

James 1:22 says, “Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only.” There comes a point when another sermon, Scripture, conversation, or confirmation cannot replace obedience to what we already know. Jesus asked in Luke 6:46, “And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?” Lordship eventually reaches your will. Yesterday you refused to give old things new permission. Today you got to go deeper and say, “God, even when Your way costs me mine, I still choose You.”

Ask yourself one question today; Is there an area where I am asking God for His will while secretly requiring His will to agree with mine? Then ask, “If God’s answer is different from the one I want, will I still trust Him?” Do not answer quickly. Sit with it. Maybe your prayer today needs to change from “Lord, make this happen” to “Lord, show me what You want.” As your prayer simply needs to be what Jesus prayed: “Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

Let’s Pray, Father, Thank You for another day and another opportunity to surrender myself to You. You have been teaching me that the cross is not only about what I say no to; it is also about who I say yes to. Today I bring You my will. Father, forgive me for the times I have prayed for Your will while secretly expecting You to agree with mine. Forgive me when I have asked You to order my steps after I already decided where I wanted to go. Forgive me for pulling on doors, forcing situations, rehearsing outcomes, and trying to control things that I said I had placed in Your hands. Teach me to trust You with all my heart and not lean entirely upon my own understanding. I acknowledge that I cannot see everything You see. Give me wisdom not to call every obstacle a closed door or every easy opportunity an open one. Teach me to seek Your Word, Your wisdom, Your peace, and Your direction rather than allowing impatience or emotion to make decisions for me. Father, when my need to be right becomes stronger than my desire to represent You well, humble me. When I need to apologize, give me courage. When I need to listen, quiet me. When I need to speak truth, help me speak it in love. When I need a boundary, give me wisdom to establish it without hatred. When I need to forgive, help me release revenge without confusing forgiveness with permission for continued harm. Teach me how to wait. When I become impatient, keep me from manufacturing what You have not released. Help me remain faithful with what You have already placed in my hands instead of becoming consumed with what has not happened yet. Father, I surrender my plans, expectations, timetable, need to understand, and desire to control the outcome. I surrender the picture I created in my mind of how I thought everything was supposed to happen. Father, teach me the discipline of nevertheless and when what I want and what You desire are different, teach my heart to say, “Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” When Your direction requires waiting, help me wait. When it requires movement, help me move. When it requires release, help me open my hands. When it requires courage, strengthen me. Lord, I do not want to call Jesus Lord with my mouth while resisting His authority with my life. Let my private decisions agree with my public confession. Yesterday’s surrender belonged to yesterday. Today I surrender my will again. Even when Your way costs me mine, help me choose You. In Jesus Christ Name, Amen.

Nugget: Today surrender becomes real when God’s way and your way are no longer the same and you still choose to follow Him. You do not have to pretend you wanted something different. Bring your desires honestly before God but leave room for His answer. Sometimes the greatest evidence of surrender is one word: nevertheless. Yesterday required a yes; today may require you to say, “Not my will, but Thine.”

Blessings…

Love, Dr. Jean…