Matthew 5:23–24 (KJV) ~ “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
In Matthew 5, Jesus is teaching His disciples and the surrounding crowd during what we know as the Sermon on the Mount. He is addressing the deeper meaning of righteousness, showing that obedience to God involves more than outward religious behavior. Throughout His teaching, Jesus examines the attitudes, motives, and conditions of the heart, revealing that what takes place within a person matters just as much as what is displayed outwardly.
In Matthew 5:21–22, Jesus addresses the commandment against murder and then moves deeper into the destructive power of anger, contempt, and broken relationships. He challenges His listeners to recognize that the condition of the heart can become a serious spiritual matter long before an outward act of violence occurs. Then, in verses 23–24, Jesus presents the example of someone bringing an offering to the altar and remembering that a brother has something against him.
Notice the order of Jesus’ instruction. The individual has already come to worship and is preparing to present a gift, but the remembrance of an unresolved offense interrupts the moment. Jesus instructs the person to leave the gift, seek reconciliation, and then return to offer it. This is not a declaration that worship becomes meaningless whenever another person is upset with you. Rather, Jesus is emphasizing the importance of taking responsibility for relational wrongdoing instead of hiding behind religious activity. Worship and reconciliation are not competing responsibilities; both should reflect a heart that desires to honor God.
Jesus also does not promise that every attempt at reconciliation will be accepted. Romans 12:18 acknowledges this limitation when Paul writes, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” You are responsible for approaching others with humility, honesty, and a genuine desire for peace, but you cannot control another person’s response. Matthew 18:15 also provides instruction concerning addressing a brother who has sinned against you, emphasizing the importance of dealing with wrongdoing rather than allowing it to remain unaddressed. Together, these passages reveal that healthy relationships sometimes require difficult but necessary conversations. This brings us to today’s central truth; you cannot always control whether reconciliation occurs, but you can seek God’s wisdom concerning the conversations and responsibilities you have been avoiding.
Sunshine, as we continue our journey through The Unfinished Business of Today, I want you to consider something that may not appear on your calendar, your assignment list, or your daily schedule, yet it may be occupying more space in your heart than you realize. It is the conversation you have been meaning to have, the apology you have been postponing, the misunderstanding you have never addressed, or the words you keep rehearsing privately but have not found the courage or wisdom to speak.
Have you ever had an entire conversation with someone in your mind without ever speaking a word to that person? You imagined what you would say, anticipated how they might respond, and prepared your explanation. Perhaps you even rehearsed the conversation while driving, getting dressed, or lying awake at night. Yet when the opportunity to speak presented itself, you decided it was not the right time, and the conversation remained unfinished. Sometimes silence is necessary because wisdom requires patience, prayer, or careful consideration. But sometimes silence becomes the place where fear, pride, resentment, and unresolved emotions are allowed to remain.
Yesterday, we examined the things we keep putting off, recognizing that unnecessary delay can become a matter of obedience when we know what is right and have the ability to respond. Today, we must consider how this principle applies to our relationships, because some of the most important unfinished responsibilities in our lives involve people rather than projects. Sometimes the unfinished business of today is not something you need to complete with your hands. It is something you need to address with your heart and your words and silence is not the same as peace.
There is a difference between having peace and simply avoiding conflict. You may convince yourself that everything is fine because you and another person have stopped discussing what happened. You continue exchanging greetings, participating in family gatherings, working together, or attending the same church, but beneath those ordinary interactions, something remains unresolved. Perhaps you have been hurt by something someone said, and rather than addressing it, you began withdrawing emotionally. Maybe you offended someone but have avoided acknowledging your actions because you do not want to feel embarrassed or vulnerable. You may have misunderstood someone’s intentions and allowed your assumptions to shape the way you treat them.
Over time, what began as one uncomfortable moment can develop into distance, resentment, or a pattern of communication that affects the relationship. Ephesians 4:26–27 declares, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” Within its context, Paul is teaching believers how to live differently as members of the body of Christ. He recognizes that anger may occur, but he warns against allowing it to become a pathway toward sinful conduct.
This passage does not mean every disagreement must be resolved before bedtime, regardless of circumstances. Some situations require time to calm down, gather information, or seek appropriate help. The principle is that anger should not be continually nurtured until it becomes bitterness, hostility, or a justification for wrongdoing. You may have been calling your silence peace when, in reality, you have simply learned how to avoid the discomfort of addressing what happened. And while avoiding the conversation may provide temporary relief, it does not always bring genuine resolution. Peace is not merely the absence of conversation, sometimes peace requires the courage to address what has been left unsaid.
One of the most challenging conversations you may ever have is the one in which you must acknowledge that you were wrong. It is often easier to explain your intentions than to consider the impact of your actions. You may tell yourself that you did not mean to hurt someone, that the situation was misunderstood, or that the other person also contributed to the disagreement. Those details may be relevant, but they should not prevent you from examining your own responsibility. In Matthew 5:23–24, Jesus directs the person who remembers that a brother has something against him to take initiative toward reconciliation. The instruction challenges the tendency to wait for someone else to make the first move; but sometimes you may be waiting for another person to approach you when you already know that it is you that needs to acknowledge what you said or did.
James 1:19 reminds believers to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” This instruction is especially important when you are attempting to address relational conflict. You may enter a conversation prepared to defend yourself, explain your intentions, or correct the other person’s interpretation before you have fully listened to their experience. But genuine humility requires a willingness to hear what may be uncomfortable. An apology does not require you to accept responsibility for things you did not do, nor does it mean that every accusation against you is accurate. It does require honesty concerning the ways your own conduct may have contributed to the situation.
Sometimes the words “I was wrong,” “I should have handled that differently,” or “I am sorry for the way I spoke to you” can become an important beginning toward healing. Yet the sincerity of an apology is demonstrated not only through the words spoken but also through a willingness to change the behavior that caused harm. Humility does not weaken your character; it strengthens your willingness to take responsibility for it.
Ephesians 4:15 encourages believers to speak the truth in love, while Ephesians 4:29 instructs them to avoid corrupt communication and speak what is useful for building others up according to their needs. These scriptures remind you that truth and love should not be separated when addressing difficult matters. Truth without compassion can become unnecessarily harsh, while an unwillingness to speak honestly can allow harmful patterns to continue.
Perhaps you have been avoiding a conversation because you do not want to hurt someone’s feelings. You recognize that a boundary needs to be established, a misunderstanding needs clarification, or an unhealthy pattern requires attention. Yet you continue remaining silent because you fear the other person’s reaction, but love does not always mean agreeing, remaining silent, or avoiding discomfort; sometimes love requires you to speak honestly while remaining respectful and compassionate. It may require you to explain how a situation affected you, communicate a necessary boundary, or ask for clarification rather than assuming the worst.
Proverbs 15:1 declares, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” The wisdom of this passage reminds you that the manner in which you communicate can influence how a conversation develops. You may have a legitimate concern, but if you approach the conversation with accusations, insults, or a desire to win an argument, you may create additional conflict rather than understanding. Before entering a difficult conversation, consider your motive. Are you seeking clarity, accountability, healing, or reconciliation? Or are you hoping to embarrass the other person, prove yourself right, or make them experience the pain you have carried?
The condition of your heart matters because your motive can influence the words you choose. The goal of a difficult conversation should not be to win against someone. It should be to respond faithfully to what is true, right, and necessary. Colossians 3:12–14 encourages believers to demonstrate compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, and love. These qualities should shape the way we approach our relationships, particularly when conflict or disappointment has occurred. However, it is important to recognize that forgiveness and reconciliation are related but distinct. Forgiveness involves releasing the desire for personal revenge and entrusting justice to God, while reconciliation involves the restoration of a relationship. Reconciliation ordinarily requires honesty, accountability, and a willingness from the people involved to participate in rebuilding trust. You may forgive someone without returning to a relationship that remains unsafe or harmful. You may seek peace without allowing another person to continue having access to mistreat you. And you may attempt reconciliation without receiving the response you hoped for.
Romans 12:18 reminds you that peace should be pursued as far as it depends upon you. This means you can take responsibility for your words and actions, communicate honestly, and approach others with humility, but you cannot force them to acknowledge wrongdoing, accept an apology, or participate in restoring the relationship. In situations involving abuse, threats, manipulation, or serious harm, a direct conversation may not be safe or appropriate. Wisdom may require boundaries, professional support, or another means of addressing the matter. God does not require you to place yourself in danger to demonstrate forgiveness. The challenge is to examine whether your silence is rooted in wise discernment or whether fear, pride, or resentment has prevented you from taking a responsible step that is genuinely within your ability.
So, what happens when tomorrow becomes the excuse for words that you needed to say today? James 4:14 reminds you that you do not know what tomorrow will bring. This truth should not cause you to become fearful about every relationship, but it should encourage you to recognize the value of the opportunities you presently have. Perhaps you have been meaning to tell someone how much you appreciate them. You may have wanted to thank a person who encouraged you during a difficult season, express love to a family member, or acknowledge the positive influence someone has had upon your life. Not every unfinished conversation involves conflict. Some involve gratitude, encouragement, affirmation, and love. You may assume that people already know how you feel, but there are moments when words can communicate something meaningful that has never been expressed. Proverbs 18:21 reminds you that death and life are in the power of the tongue. Within the wisdom teachings of Proverbs, this emphasizes the serious influence words can have upon relationships and human experience.
Your words can wound, but they can also encourage. They can create distance, but they can also open the door to understanding. They can communicate bitterness, but they can also express gratitude, humility, and love. And sometimes, the conversation you have been postponing is not one you need to fear. It may be an opportunity to speak life into someone who has been waiting to hear that they matter. As we continue this week’s journey, remember the prayer that has been guiding us, “Father, teach me how to live within the confines of my day, that I may flow in Your Presence in my present, and not in tomorrow nor my past, in the Name of Jesus Christ.” Living within the confines of today means recognizing that you cannot guarantee another opportunity to speak, apologize, encourage, or seek understanding. It does not mean you must rush into every conversation immediately. It means you should stop using an uncertain tomorrow as an automatic excuse for avoiding what wisdom and obedience may require of you today.
Let’s Pray:
Father, in the mighty and matchless Name of Jesus Christ, I come before You with a grateful heart, thanking You for another day of life and another opportunity to grow in wisdom, humility, and obedience. Thank You for Your Word, which examines not only my outward actions but also the motives and attitudes of my heart. I acknowledge that my relationships matter to You and that the way I speak, listen, forgive, and respond to others should reflect the character of Jesus Christ. Father, as I continue this second week of my devotional journey, search my heart and reveal the conversations I have been avoiding. Show me where pride has prevented me from apologizing, where fear has caused me to remain silent, and where resentment has influenced the way I respond to others. Forgive me for the times I have allowed misunderstandings to continue because I was unwilling to seek clarity or acknowledge my responsibility. Lord, help me recognize where You are calling me to begin with a simple message, an honest apology, a thoughtful question, or a prayer asking You to prepare my heart for a necessary conversation. I acknowledge that I cannot determine how another person will respond, but I can seek Your wisdom concerning how I should approach them. Remind me that although some conversations cannot change what happened yesterday, they may change how I carry those experiences into tomorrow. Father, forgive me for postponing necessary conversations simply because they feel uncomfortable, emotionally difficult, or uncertain. Help me examine my heart honestly. Reveal anyone I need to apologize to, thank, encourage, or approach with a genuine desire for understanding. Show me where I have mistaken silence for peace while resentment, hurt, or misunderstanding continues beneath the surface. Bring to my attention the words I have been carrying in my heart that wisdom, love, and obedience are calling me to address. Lord, give me the courage to have the conversations that are necessary for my healing, growth, and freedom. Your Word declares in Galatians 5:1 that I am to stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ has made me free and not become entangled again with the yoke of bondage. Help me recognize when unresolved emotions, bitterness, pride, or fear have become burdens I was never meant to continue carrying. Teach me to walk in the freedom You have provided without allowing yesterday’s wounds to control today’s decisions. Lord, teach me to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Help me listen with humility rather than entering every conversation prepared to defend myself. Give me the ability to recognize when my words have caused harm and the courage to acknowledge my mistakes without making excuses. Where I owe an apology, help me offer it sincerely and demonstrate my repentance through changed conduct. Father, where I have been wounded by others, bring healing to the places that remain tender. Help me distinguish between forgiveness and the restoration of trust. Give me wisdom to establish appropriate boundaries and recognize when reconciliation is possible, when it requires time and accountability, and when distance is necessary for my safety and well-being. Lord, guard my tongue and purify my motives. I do not want to use difficult conversations as opportunities to embarrass, condemn, or retaliate against others. Teach me to speak the truth in love, communicate with respect, and approach disagreements with a genuine desire for understanding. Where my emotions are overwhelming, give me patience to become calm before responding. Where I need counsel or support, guide me toward wise and trustworthy people. Father, teach me how to live within the confines of my day, that I may flow in Your Presence in my present, and not in tomorrow nor my past, in the mighty Name of Jesus Christ. Help me stop postponing the conversations that require my attention simply because they make me uncomfortable. Give me discernment to recognize the appropriate time, manner, and setting for addressing difficult matters, and help me remain obedient to Your Word rather than controlled by fear. Lord, remind me that not every unfinished conversation involves conflict. Open my eyes to the people who need encouragement, gratitude, appreciation, and love. Where I have taken others for granted, give me a thankful heart. Where someone has supported me through a difficult season, remind me to acknowledge their kindness. Where a family member or friend needs to hear that they are valued, help me become more intentional about expressing my love. Father, where my relationships have been strained, I ask for wisdom, healing, and opportunities for honest communication when appropriate. I recognize that I cannot control another person’s response, but I can seek to honor You through my own conduct. Help me release the desire to force outcomes and remain faithful to the responsibilities that genuinely belong to me. As I continue examining the unfinished business of today, teach me that obedience sometimes requires more than good intentions. It may require humility, courage, accountability, and a willingness to have conversations I would rather avoid. Help me recognize when silence is wise and when silence has become an excuse for neglecting what is right. Lord, may my words become instruments of encouragement rather than destruction, may my conversations reflect truth and compassion, and may my relationships demonstrate the love and wisdom of Jesus Christ. Teach me to respond faithfully to the opportunities You have placed before me without allowing yesterday’s hurt or tomorrow’s uncertainty to control my present. Father, I surrender my pride, my fears, my unresolved emotions, and the conversations I have been carrying in my heart. Give me wisdom concerning what needs to be said, grace concerning what needs to be released, and peace concerning what remains beyond my control. Help me understand that my freedom does not depend upon another person’s response but upon my willingness to surrender my heart, my motives, and my actions to You. Today, I choose to release what I cannot change, address what requires my attention, and trust You with what remains beyond my control. May I no longer allow fear to silence me, pride to hinder me, or yesterday’s pain to keep me entangled in emotional bondage. Give me the courage to speak when necessary, the wisdom to remain silent when appropriate, and the grace to move forward in the freedom You have given me. In the Mighty and Matchless Name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen and Amen!
Nugget ~ Not every conversation will end the way you hope, but avoiding every difficult conversation will not necessarily bring peace. Ask God for wisdom to know when to speak, humility to acknowledge your part, and love to communicate with grace. Sometimes the unfinished business of today is simply the truth, apology, encouragement, or expression of love you have been postponing.
Blessings…
Love, Dr. Jean…
Ladies, you are invited you to join us for 31 Days of Pearls, Praise & Prayer in October!
For all 31 days of October, we will wear our pearls as a reminder to pause, praise God, and spend intentional time in prayer. Your pearls can be a necklace, bracelet, earrings, or ring. They do not have to be expensive or elaborate. The power is not in the pearls; it is just a sign that we are in unity, as our faith is in the Lord.
Each morning, put on your pearls, give God praise, and pray with us using the weekly prayer focus. Whenever you notice your pearls throughout the day, let them remind you to whisper a prayer. Before going to bed, take a moment to thank God for His faithfulness.
Our October Prayer Focus
| Week | Date | Theme |
| Week 1 | October 1–3 | Women’s Deliverance |
| Week 2 | October 4–10 | Women’s Heart |
| Week 3 | October 11–17 | Women’s Health |
| Week 4 | October 18–24 | Women’s Family |
| Week 5 | October 25–31 | Women’s Ministry |
Ladies, put on your pearls, lift up your praise, and join us in prayer every evening throughout October at 7:10 PM Central Time!
Dial-in: 1-978-990-5000
Access Code: 570381
For more information: drjean@kplegacyhouse.org
Discover more from Transformed at the WELL Devotional Ministry
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